From A Bad Place
by me11
Summary: The crew postpones a job on Aurora when they recieve bad news about a family member. Jayne visits home.


**From A Bad Place**

_Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with Firefly, Serenity, Mutant Enemy or Joss Whedon. Though I wish I was...:0)_

* * *

  
  
Jayne Cobb had seen a lot of things in his life, a lot of strange things too, but he'd never seen anything like her before. His world was all blaze and guns and violence, and she was music and wonder and mind. Everything he did, he did passionately, completely and according to the passion principle. But everything River Tam did was fluid, and puzzling and mysterious. She frightened him, in more ways than one; the things she knew, shat she'd done, and everything that she could do. Jayne wasn't scared of many things, but River was one of them, in fact she was second on the list, now that he knew she could kill him with her brain.  
  
Jayne leaned forward slightly, balancing his weight on his hands. He was standing on the catwalk, looking down on the cargo bay where the girl was twirling around majestically. He watched while she extended her arms above her head and slowly raised herself up onto her toes. She had her eyes closed tightly, as if trying to remember something, and let her body spin gracefully into a pirouette. He usually just ignored her, because she frightened him a little, but now he couldn't bring himself to look away. There was just something hypnotic about the way she moved, so fluid and graceful, as if she were born to do it.  
  
The metal catwalk clanked slightly under the boots of whoever it was had just come up behind him. He stood up quickly, prepared to make a particularly nasty comment about River's sanity, and turned around. The insult died away almost instantly, because he saw that it was Kaylee who had joined him, and she wouldn't say anything. Little Kaylee was the best person he knew, and one of the very small group of people that Jayne cared about. Really cared about. Every single person who met her couldn't help but fall a little bit in love with her.  
  
Kaylee didn't say anything she just mimicked his earlier position and leaned against the rail. Jayne leaned next to her, watching her watch River. "When she dances like that," Kaylee finally said, nodding her head in River's direction. "Isn't she just the prettiest think y' ever did see?"  
  
Jayne looked down at River again, realizing that she was. River Tam wasn't his type; not only was she too young (not that that had ever really stopped him before), she was nothing at all like the women he usually liked. Jayne liked whores, because they were easy to deal with, or sexy women like Zoe, because they were easy to look at, or even fun ones like Kaylee, because they were to easy to be around. People that he had something in common with. River was different than...well, anyone really. But, Kaylee was right; River was one of the shiniest things he'd ever seen. "If she weren't so crazy maybe," he said instead, draping a large arm around Kaylee's shoulders. "I mean, there ain't even no music playin'."  
  
Kaylee smiled up and him and leaned against his side. "Sure there is," she turned her gaze back to River. "You just ain't listen' hard enough." Jayne snorted slightly at the idea, but as he watched her dance, he could almost make out the beat that Kaylee and River heard.

* * *

Jayne was watching her, she knew it. Even with her eyes closed she could feel his piercing gaze on her. She wasn't picking up any flashes of emotion or thought from him, but when Kaylee joined him, River suddenly felt warmer. Kaylee's thoughts were almost always warm, and they could shake the chill right out of your bones.  
  
Kaylee was right, she could hear music. It was a lovely melody that River's dance teacher used to play in lessons. She loved it, but it only played through when all of the voices in her head were quiet; so not nearly enough. But right now...  
  
She fluttered backwards slightly and then sprang forward into the air, nice and high, her legs spreading into a split right in time with the crescendo in her mind. Another pirouette. Touch spin. Touch spin. Touch spin. Slide to the floor into a split. She raised her arms high into the air and then leaned her body forward, grabbing her ankles in a closing position, the music fading into nothingness.  
  
Kaylee's enthusiastic clapping made her open her eyes and look at the spectators on the catwalk. Kaylee whistled and then jabbed Jayne roughly in the side with her elbow. He rolled his eyes and clapped a little too, albeit reluctantly. River climbed gracefully to her feet while Kaylee rushed down the stairs to her, Jayne trudging along behind.  
  
"That was shiny," Kaylee grinned again and pulled River into a tight hug. River smiled into Kaylee's hair and returned the jug. Jayne cleared his throat.  
  
"Where is everyone?" he asked them, sitting on top of one of the large crates against the wall.  
  
"Cap's rounding 'em all up," Kaylee hopped up on the crate beside him. "Wash says we'll be getting' to Telamachus Drift soon enough."  
  
"Are we staying?" River asked, beginning another dance. She didn't look at Kaylee or Jayne but continued to listen. Arms up.  
  
"Not sure," Kaylee told her. "I think Cap'n wants to get to Aurora as soon as possible."  
  
"I love Aurora," Jayne sighed, his voice leering. "Whole lotta shiny on that rock."  
  
"How many guns are you needin'?" Kaylee asked him. "There can't be that many different' ones."  
  
"Eight hundred and fifty seven," River told them automatically. Balance on toes. Bring one foot up behind head.  
  
"Huh," Jayne remarked, cocking his head to the side and watching her hold the position. "Kid that's..."  
  
"Not a kid," River brought both feet back down to the ground. Slide into side split. "Eighteen in three weeks. Not a kid."  
  
"Your birthday's comin' up?" Kaylee perked up. "Really?"  
  
"S' what she said," Jayne cocked his head the other way. "Doesn' that hurt?"  
  
"No," River twisted her body. Lean backwards, body resting on leg, parallel with the ground. "I'm very flexible."  
  
"That is and excellent skill to have," Jayne swallowed purposefully, his eyes running over her body as she stretched her hands above her head, holding the pose. "Could come in real handy." Kaylee punched his arm – hard. "Ow!" Jayne cried and rubbed at the sore spot. River mentally winced as well, getting a flash of his pain.  
  
She unfolded herself from the pose and rose to her feet, ignoring the slight disappointment that flashed over his face. "What d' ya want for your birthday?" Kaylee asked her, patting the seat beside her and forcing Jayne to move over.  
  
"Nothing," River answered quietly, climbing up beside Kaylee.  
  
"You gotta want something," Kaylee ran a hand through River's long hair, smoothing out the tangles. River closed her eyes at the sensation.  
  
"Can't buy them," River told her. Kaylee sighed and nodded. Before she could say anything to try and comfort her, Wash's voice crackled out over the intercom.  
  
"We're docking at Telamachus," Wash announced cheerfully. "Captain wants everyone in cargo bay."  
  
Jayne clapped his hands together eagerly. "Are there prostitutes on this drift?" River asked him.  
  
"There's whores on every drift," he grinned. "Jus' gotta know where ta go."  
  
"I'm sorry," River told him gravely.  
  
"Why?" Kaylee asked.  
  
"That Jayne has to buy prostitutes so he can have sex," River told them, nonplussed. "It's too bad—"  
  
"Jayne doesn't have to buy prostitutes," he cut her off indignantly, the same way he'd done when she'd commented on the gender origins of his name. "I jus' prefer 'em is all."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Why?" he laughed. "Cuz they know exactly what your lookin' for, an' you don't have ta learn their name."  
  
"That is a great life lesson Jayne," Mal remarked sarcastically, appearing on the catwalk and making his way down the stairs, Zoe behind him.  
  
"She asked," Jayne gruffed defensively, crossing his arms over his chest. River nodded at Mal; she had asked.  
  
"Maybe you shouldn' ask him anything darlin'," Mal suggested. "One Jayne is plenty. We don't need him corruptin' you as well."  
  
The others joined them soon after that, all except Wash. "Where is he?" Mal asked Zoe. She shrugged.  
  
"I'm here," Wash announced running down the stairs. "Sorry, there was an incoming wave just as I was leaving. Jayne they have something for you at the post office."  
  
"Maybe it's a mail order whore," Kaylee giggled and Jayne shot her a grumpy look.  
  
"Let's hope not. Everyone," Mal called for attention. "We're here two hours, to fuel up and maybe get us some beers. Everyone be back here on time, or we're leaving without ya. Ya'll hear?"

* * *

Telamachus Drift had many interesting shops and stands, carrying a variety of different foods and unique items – at inflated, off world prices. Book had been given the job of babysitting River, because Simon and Kaylee were off together somewhere on the drift. River didn't mind, she liked Book, and his thoughts almost never made their way into her mind. He wasn't a slave to his passions like the others were, so he was almost a safe haven for her tumulus mind.  
  
Book had found an interesting little bookshop in one of the main halls, right across from a fruit stand. He was looking eagerly through the theology section, observing the different comparative texts. River hummed quietly to herself, flipping though a book about the history of classical dance. She liked the book; it had a lot of pretty pictures that she wanted to draw, and considered buying it with the platinum Simon had given her for spending money.  
  
She checked the price on the back cover, and then set the book back on its' shelf, deciding it cost too much. The back of her spine prickled familiarly, and before she could brace herself, she was rushed with a jumble of emotions; fear, pain, sorrow... She screamed.  
  
Book dropped the text in his hand when he heard her, making his way over in an instant. She vaguely heard his voice, trying to soothe her, through the noise in her head. "River?" he called, grabbing her shoulders and trying to still her hands. She grabbed at her head, pushing at her temples and trying to stop the noise. "What's wrong?"  
  
She choked slightly. "Jayne," she told him, unable to utter anything else as the tears began to stream down her cheeks. Book led her into the hall and sat her on a nearby bench.  
  
"Rest here for a moment," he held her hands tightly for reassurance. "What happened?" She took a deep and shaky breath, ignoring the lines of tears that ran down her cheeks.  
  
"News from home," she told him breathily, her mind feeling the same thing he was, but unlike Jayne she allowed her body to react to it. "Paris is burnt to the ground. He's cinder now. Hurts." Book rubbed her back gently until she'd calmed down a bit. "Hector is sad; hurts, but can't cry."  
  
When she managed to stop crying her handed her a tissue to wipe her eyes. "Maybe we should go back to Serenity," he suggested. She nodded dully.  
  
"You wanted to see the drift," she heard him think it first, and then repeated it to him.  
  
"I did," he smiled warmly. "But this is important. I can see the drift another time." River nodded again, knowing that he was being honest. She caught sight of the fruit stand as they were leaving.  
  
"Wait," she pulled his sleeve to stop him. "I have to buy something."

* * *

Kaylee's laugh echoed through his ears, tinkling like bells at Christmas time. Simon loved the sound, and figured that he could hear it everyday for the rest of his life, and never tire of it. They were walking languidly through Telamachus Drift, hands clasped tightly together and browsing through the occasional stand. She was wearing a pretty dress, the same pale pink as her lips, and her hair was pulled back into a bouncy ponytail; Simon thought that she looked beautiful.  
  
"Oh look," she pulled him over to a music shop. "Does River play anything?"  
  
"Yes she used to," he smiled fondly at the memory of his little sister, when she was small. "Violin and piano."  
  
"I wanna get her a really shiny present," Kaylee told him, peering closely through the window. "Eighteen is a big birthday, and it's her first year on Serenity."  
  
Simon smiled warmly at her back, knowing she couldn't see, feeling his chest tighten at the very thought of her. He had the sudden urge to slide his arms around her tightly, but instead he tugged the hand he was holding and turned her to look at him. "You are the very sweetest girl in the whole Verse," he told her, drowning in her eyes.  
  
"Really?" she grinned playfully and took a step closer to him. "The Universe is mighty big."  
  
"The whole Verse," he repeated and inched closer still, giving her a huge grin and catching her other hand clumsily in his, feeling fifteen again.  
  
"Tell me more," she returned the grin and cocked her head slightly.  
  
"These can do amazing things," he held her hands up slightly. "More than I can even think of. And you look...beautiful. Right now — I mean, you always look beautiful – but right now...I don't even know enough words to..."  
  
"Yeah?" she drawled, inching close enough so that he could feel her breath, warm against his lips. "Do you wanna hear about you now? 'Bout how amazing you are?"  
  
He shook his head, leaning forward towards hers. "Maybe later," he whispered, and then caught her lips with his. She slid her hands out of his and moved one up to cup the side of his face, the other moving to rest on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her automatically, smiling into the kiss.

* * *

For the first time ever, Jayne was the first one back on the ship. His eagerness to visit the drift had been quickly forgotten when he'd read his letter. He'd returned to the ship right after reading it, tucking himself away in a small cubby at the top of the catwalk. A folded envelope was clasped in his hand tightly, and he was leaning against the ship wall, re-reading it over and over again.  
  
_ Dear Jayne, I hope this lettre finds you well. We all miss you and hope to see you again soon. There is bad news heer, and I hate to have to tell you this way. Matty has been very sick with the damp lung, and the docters couldn't give us medisine that could help him. He held on as long as he could but he didn't make it. We are haveing his funeral next week. I hope this letter finds you before then. Please come home Jayne.  
Love  
Your Mother  
_  
He swallowed painfully again, disgusted with himself and the ridiculous urge to cry. People died all of the time, he reminded himself. He put the letter in his pocket and resolved not to read it again. Matty had been sick for a long while and this wasn't entirely unexpected.  
  
Still though, Matty was his brother and one of the people on Jayne's short list...his mother was another, and if she wanted hi to come home for a spell, then he would go. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. Footsteps clanked on the ramp, alerting him to the fact that someone had come back. The soft voices of Book and River drifted towards him. 'Maybe get the Preacher to say a prayer,' Jayne thought briefly.  
  
River seemed to follow the sound of him thinking, because she found him immediately, even though he was tucked out of sight. "What?" he asked her sharply when she stood in front of him, peering down intently.  
  
She ignored his question and sat beside him in the smallish cubby, taking up the last bit of room, her shoulder pressing against his as she mimicked his position. "I'm sorry," she told him breathily, eyes wide and slightly red rimmed from tears.  
  
"What?"  
  
"About your brother," she clarified and handed him the white bag in her hands. "Bought you this to cheer you up."  
  
Jayne frowned again but took the bag and opened it curiously. His eyebrows shot up it surprise. Inside the bag was several bunches of grapes; white ones, green ones, red ones...all very overpriced when you bought them off world. They were also his favourite. "Um...thanks," he mumbled awkwardly, not used to receiving gifts from anyone, and pulled a green grape off of it's stem. "How'd you know?"  
  
"Heard you say you like grapes," she told him seriously.  
  
"No, 'bout Matty?" he clarified. River blinked slowly at him, contemplating her words.  
  
"Felt it," she told him vaguely. "When you read the letter. Could see...feel the hurt. Like someone was squeezing your insides too tight."  
  
He couldn't speak. The idea was crazy, she was crazy, but yet, it had to be true. How else would she have known? He hadn't told anyone. Jayne sat dumbfounded for a moment and then held the bag of grapes open to her, offering her some.  
  
She reached a slender hand in the bag and grabbed a fist full of random grapes, proceeding to eat them slowly, savouring each one individually. Jayne popped another green grape into his mouth, letting the juices run down his throat when he bit into it.  
  
River began to hum quietly, a slow sad tune that made him immediately think of Matty. The tears that began to track their way down her cheeks told him that she was picking up his thoughts. Jayne didn't comment, for once he didn't tell her to leave him be; he just sat there quietly, letting her shift a little closer to him. He finished his grapes silently. He wouldn't cry for anything, so he let her do it for him.

* * *

Simon hadn't been thrilled to find River sitting with Jayne when they'd gotten back to the ship. But the anger was quickly replaced by something akin to pity when Jayne told them about his brother, and that he had to be getting home. Mal had immediately offered to postpone the Aurora trip, and Inara readily agreed that her clients could reschedule.  
  
"We'll head out straight away," Mal clapped Jayne on the shoulder. "Wash how long is the trip?"  
  
"'Bout five days journey," Wash told them. "I'll set a course." He hurried up the stairs in the direction of the bridge. Zoe clapped Jayne on the shoulder once, the same way that Mal had, and followed after her husband. Inara excused herself as well, as did Mal; both going off to make calls to reschedule their appointments. Book had already broken out his bible.  
  
Simon's heart clenched at the look on Kaylee's face: mourning for someone she didn't know, and pain for Jayne. He and River excused themselves, offering condolences and leaving Jayne and Kaylee alone, though he hated to leave her with him. They'd had an amazing time on Telamachus, but now the mood was broken, the sad news interrupting them.  
  
Simon followed River up the stairs towards the passenger bunks. His last glimpse of Kaylee was of her eyes full of unshed tears, reaching her hand out towards Jayne's large form. Jayne blinked at her dully and Simon tore his eyes away, not wanting to watch them anymore.

* * *

Jayne's family lived on a boarder moon in the Titan system, called St. Josephs. There was nothing particularly remarkable about it, but Jayne still thought of it as home. He'd left home when he was 16, to see the world and get some credits in his pocket. A guy of his stature had no trouble finding decent paying work, as long as he wasn't too particular about how he earned it. In the 16 years since he'd left St. Josephs he'd only returned once, when his father had died. Gerald Cobb had died from damp lung as well, and Jayne had returned home for the funeral. But that had been almost 10 years ago, and his correspondence with St. Josephs since then had consisted of only the occasional letter from his mother. Sometimes he sent her platinum, when his cut was big enough.  
  
Wash landed the ship just outside of town and they walked to Jayne's mother's house. Samantha Cobb was waiting for them eagerly when they arrived. She was a surprisingly small woman, considering how big her son was, and no taller than Kaylee. "Jayne," she greeted her son warmly, tears streaming down her weathered cheeks.  
  
"Ah, Ma," Jayne grinned at her and picked her up in a bear hug, spinning her around.  
  
"Oh, let me get a look at ya," she stepped back and looked at him. Jayne flashed his most cunning smile at her. "You look real good sugar."  
  
"Thanks Ma," Jayne actually blushed.  
  
"Now who are all these folks?" she asked him, looking at the eight people behind him, crowding up the front lawn.  
  
"Oh right, them's the rest of the crew," Jayne pointed to each one in turn. "That there's the captain, Mal. That's Zoe and Wash, he's the pilot. Lessee...there's Inara an' Book, the Preacher, an' little Kaylee, the mechanic. The fancy one there is Simon; he's the Doc, an' River. She's...well, she's—"  
  
"Unique," Mal supplied.  
  
"She is at that," Jayne nodded. "Anyways, that's the crew."  
  
"Nice to meet ya," she shook hands with each of them. "Ya'll can call me Sammy. Come on in an' get yerselves somethin' ta eat." They followed her into a cozy kitchen, well worn and obviously old, but it had been scrubbed spotlessly clean. Sammy spoke to them kindly, and smiled often, but she held the same haunted look in her eyes that Jayne did. And neither of their smiles really reached their eyes.

* * *

Mal and the others spent the night on Serenity, only Jayne staying with his mother. The funeral was to be at noon the next day, at the cemetery where Jayne's family had a plot.  
  
They left the Cobb place after dinner, with Kaylee and River waving goodbye sadly, and Book and Mal clapping the large mercenary on the back. "Poor Jayne," Kaylee sighed quietly once they'd gotten halfway through town. She was holding onto Simon's arm, trudging slowly through the street and looking as if it was her brother that had just passed on. "Did anyone ever hear him talk 'bout Matty?"  
  
Most of them shook their heads, but Book nodded slightly and Mal could remember a comment or two. "Jayne had mentioned his family once or twice," Book told them, deftly jumping over a mud puddle. "Just in passing though, never any real information."  
  
"I didn't even know that he had a brother," Wash admitted.  
  
"Didn't ask," River told him, everyone. "Didn't want to know. Made it easier to not trust him. A bad man from a bad place." The others looked at her, and then averted their eyes, because she was right. Except for Book and Kaylee, none of them had really put much faith in Jayne beyond his (admittedly excellent) combat skills. "But Jayne's not a bad man," River added quietly, staring Simon down when he gave her a pointed glare. "You don't comprehend."  
  
"No one's sayin' that he is River," Kaylee told her, clearly believing the other girl's words about Jayne.  
  
"Some of us are," Wash muttered, earning small a small nod from Simon and a snort of approval from Zoe.  
  
"Okay that's enough," Mal told them all sharply. "We're all here outta respect for a member of our crew. If ya'll can't remember that you can stay on the ship 'til we leave. Dong ma?"  
  
"Yes Captain," Zoe and Kaylee replied quietly. River, Book and Inara nodded sagely.  
  
"Wash? Doctor? Am I makin' myself clear?" Mal repeated, levelling them with a glare that couldn't be considered anything other than threatening. Simon nodded.  
  
"Yes Sir," Wash cheered sarcastically. Zoe slugged him on the shoulder.

* * *

The bar in town was full to maximum capacity when Jayne walked in here later that night. He hadn't been to the Slipknot since he was sixteen, but the place hadn't changed at all. There was still the same old bartender making drinks, the same old wooden tables with the same old knife marks on their tops. The whores were different though, now they were younger.  
  
He sat down at the bar and cracked his knuckles distractedly. "Whiskey," he told the bartender gruffly, throwing the drink back immediately. "Another. Leave the bottle." He needed the liquor pretty bad.  
  
Once Mal and the rest of the crew had taken off, Jayne and Sammy had gone down to the funeral parlour, to see Matty. It had been a long while since Jayne had seen his little brother; he'd been 11 when Jayne moved away, and just barely 17 when their father had died. But Matty looked the same as Jayne remembered, except 10 years older and, well, dead. He'd always been smallish, little Matty, nothing at all like his big brother. Jayne always remembered him being sickly, always getting bed rest from some ailment of another. Life on St. Josephs wasn't always comfortable, and while Jayne had made it out healthy and strong, Matty'd suffered with sickness most of his life. He looked the same, lying there in that box, but this time his eyes wouldn't be lighting up at the sight of big brother.  
  
Jayne took a swig out of the bottle, picturing the chalk white skin and the slight blue tinge to Matty's lips. He had left his little brother to fend for himself once Pop had passed on. A part of him felt real guilty, because his brother's body had given him the same reaction that that Tracy kid's had. He wanted some action, a willing female –at the very least, a whole lot of booze.  
  
He counted himself luck when a pretty girl sauntered over to him, looking up at him with liquid lined eyes and ruby painted lips. Her lipstick clashed with the red hair piled on top of her head, but the shirt was low cut in the front. She was willing, obviously trashy, and just his type.  
  
"Hello darlin'," he greeted, pouring himself another shot.  
  
"Jayne Cobb," she leaned against the bar, tilting her hips forward provocatively. He was surprised that she seemed to know him. "Ain't seen you 'round here for a while. Ya come for Matty?"  
  
He swallowed a mouthful of whiskey. "Yeah," he told her, his voice a bit more gruff than he meant it to be. He searched her face for something familiar.  
  
"Don't ya remember me Jaynie?" she cooed, stepping closer to him and taking the now refilled shot glass from his hand. She threw her head back and let he amber liquid pour languidly down her throat. "Ya used to run about with m'brother, Kelly."  
  
Jayne's mouth spread into a smirk. "Sable," he remembered. "Look at you, all shiny and...legal."

* * *

River winced slightly at the sound of wood against metal, her door sliding shut. She tossed a look over her shoulder in the direction of Simon's room, hoping the noise hadn't woken him. Seems Kaylee had worn him out though, because River could make out two sets of rhythmic breathing, and the occasional snore from her brother.  
  
The ship was dark when she made her way through cargo bay, towards the doors. She pushed the button to open the bay doors and slipped out quickly, punching in the security code on the outside panel to seal them up again.  
  
River began to walk into town, a particular destination in mind. She'd been picking up waves of sadness from Kaylee all day, and was getting used to the steady hum in the back of her mind. But about an hour ago she'd been overcome with an intensely strong thought; Jayne's voice ringing through her head as clearly as if he'd been standing right beside her. Whiskey.  
  
There was only one bar on the main road, she'd seen it earlier that day, and River was fairly certain that's where Jayne was heading.

* * *

Sable had done a lot of growing up since he'd seen her last, 16 years before, when she'd been only 10, a year younger than Matty. Now she was grown, knew what to do with her hands, and how to use that red and shiny mouth.  
  
Beside Jayne and Sable, a group of random townies sat at the bar, friends of Matty's. They took turns telling random stories, all steadily getting drunk from the almost constant toasts. Jayne shot back another swig of whiskey and then poured the last few drops into his glass. "Ta Matty!" he slurred slightly and held the glass high above his head.  
  
"Ta Matty!" Sable and the other drunks echoed loudly. Jayne almost missed his mouth, but in the end managed to get most of the whiskey down his throat. The crowd laughed loudly and Sable pressed herself against him cosily. Jayne blinked his eyes several times, trying to clear his head and concentrate on what Sable was whispering in his ear.  
  
Through the alcohol induced stupor Jayne noticed a familiar face at the doorway. The edge of his vision was blurry, but he could make out her face clearly, knew it was her from the way she walked, the way she looked up at him through the long locks of hair. Jayne grinned. "Hey kid!" he called out, startling Sable.  
  
River's eyes widened slightly. "C'mere!" Jayne called out and waved her over. She looked sceptical but when he beckoned with his hand again she slowly approached. "Hey," Jayne elbowed one of the guys beside him, pushing him off of his stool. "Let the girl sit." The guy eyed River briefly before jumping to his feet. River climbed onto the stool, looking something akin to nervousness, and gave the man a small nod before shooting Jayne a wary look. Had he been sober he wouldn't really blame her, but since he was drunk...he laughed. "Ah, come on darlin'," he threw an arm around her shoulders. "I ain't gonna bite ya!"  
  
She grinned weakly and then jumped when Jayne smacked his hand down on the bar. "'Nother round," he called out, the crowd cheering. "And somethin' for the girl too. Ya need to relax!" He clapped her on the shoulder soundly and she wobbled a bit.  
  
The bartender poured Jayne another whiskey and handed River an orange drink in a tall glass. She sniffed it tentatively and took a small sip. "Sun and sand," she smiled slightly and took a bigger sip. "Coconut oil."  
  
"Right," Jayne looked at her strangely but shot back his drink anyways.

* * *

"The ground is crooked!" River exclaimed loudly, a little too loudly, and a giggle escaped her throat. Jayne laughed too, stumbling after her skipping form clumsily. She was far too graceful for someone so drunk and he didn't think it was fair. "Even more crooked than that tree. Why is the try growing that way?" She stopped and pointed to a tree nearby, cocking her head to the side.  
  
Jayne walked up beside her and mimicked her stance, looking intently at the tree. "You're drunk," he clapped her on the shoulder, and then steadied her when her knees gave out from the force.  
  
"Am I?" she asked, hurrying on ahead of him, dancing lithely. "There's Serenity!" She pointed to the ship in the distance, mostly blocked by a patch of trees.  
  
"Doc's gonna kill you," he came as close to giggling as a man like him could.  
  
"You first," she shot back, twirling in a circle.  
  
"What ya doin' at that bar anyways?" he asked her, suddenly realizing that he didn't know. "Ya shouldn't be runnin' round out here. 'S dangerous," he slurred, his voice getting louder as he reached his hands out drunkenly to stop her twirling. "Makin' me dizzy."  
  
"Already dizzy," she laughed, grabbing his hands with hers and twirling him with her. Jayne stumbled a bit so she let go. "Making sure you're okay."  
  
"'M Fine," he looked at her strangely.  
  
"You weren't," she replied, leaning against his side for support now that she'd made herself dizzy. They kept walking. "You saw your brother, floating empty...a ship with no power. You were afraid. So you lost yourself in what you know, and now you tingle."  
  
Jayne's jaw dropped...and then he laughed. Full bodied, shoulder- shaking laughter spilled out, contagious, and making her laugh as well. River didn't find it particularly funny, but he was funny, and she was drunk, and it felt good to laugh. The laughter trickled away when they reached the ship.  
  
"D' you leave them doors open?" he asked her, peering cautiously at the open cargo bay, paranoid by nature even with the alcohol in his system. River shook her head, a feeling of sobriety beginning to wash over her.  
  
"Daddy's angry," she whispered. Jayne looked confused but led her cautiously into the ship. His eyes widened at the crowd of people on the stairs waiting, all seven of them frowning.  
  
"D' you think they saw us?" he asked River. They both broke out into hysterical laughter again.

* * *

"Gorramit Jayne!" Mal bellowed harshly, slugging the mercenary in the shoulder sharply. Jayne whined at the hit and leaned his weight away from where Mal was pacing. Beside him River was eyeing Simon wearily; he paced back and forth jerkily and opened his mouth several times to speak but could never seem to come up with any words. The rest of the crew had gone to bed, except Kaylee, who sat at the top of the stairs watching silently.  
  
Mal used up every swear word he knew, in each language, and Simon kept shooting Jayne menacing looks. River sighed. "Simon," she whined at his behaviour.  
  
The comment seemed to jar the doctor out of the groove he was wearing in Serenity's hull. "Are you okay?" he finally asked her, grabbing her shoulders tightly and searching her face for any signs that she wasn't.  
  
Mal kicked violently at the staircase and let out several other colourful words at the dull clunk. Jayne rolled his eyes and slumped back against the wall. "I'm fine," River sighed again. Simon nodded in relief, then...  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Mal and Simon both yelled at the same time, startling the drunks and Kaylee. Jayne and River both shook with repressed laughter.  
  
"You!" Simon grabbed Jayne by the collar, his face an interesting shade of red, and shook him slightly. "You got my sister drunk! You...ape!"  
  
Jayne slapped his hands away clumsily. "No I didn't...well, yeah I guess so," he conceded. "But I didn't make her drink anythin'! She just showed up at the bar by herself, what was I supposed to do? I walked her back didn't I?"  
  
"You should have brought her straight back to the ship," Mal told him, fingers twitching towards his gun that was holstered at his hip.  
  
"Wouldn't have come," River told them lightly, not even heard over the shouting.  
  
"She's okay ain't she?" Jayne waved his hand in her general direction.  
  
"This time!" Simon snapped at him and then resumed his pacing.  
  
"Gorramit Jayne!" Mal yelled again.  
  
"Had to go," River whispered.  
  
"What?" Simon asked her.  
  
"Oh, she's been talking nonsense since we left the bar," Jayne leaned his head back and closed his eyes.  
  
"Pay attention!" Mal smacked his head and Jayne opened his eyes reluctantly.  
  
"Mei mei, what did you say?" Simon kneeled in front of her, holding her small hands in his.  
  
"Had to go," she repeated, feeling Mal and Jayne turn their gazes to her. "Saw the body, felt the...I felt it too. Wanted the same thing he did, knew where to go. I'm sorry I scared you, sorry they all had to wake because I was gone. You woke up. We had to forget."  
  
"River I'm not sure what you're telling us," Simon told her. "We didn't see a body—"  
  
"I did," Jayne muttered. He climbed to his feet clumsily, and Mal let him. "I saw one tonight. Down at the funeral...place. I dunno what it's called."  
  
Mal and Simon were silent. River squeezed her eyes shut and buried her face in her hands. "Hurts," she mumbled, shaking her head to try and clear away the thoughts.  
  
"What hurts?" Simon's voice died off when they saw Jayne staring blankly into space, his jaw set and his eyes vacant. Mal shifted uncomfortably and cleared his throat. Kaylee looked like she may cry. They were all beginning to understand now...  
  
"We're all tired," Mal's voice seemed to carry through the entire ship. "I say we all head to bed, finish this in the mornin'."  
  
"Yes, that's..." Simon looked uneasily at Jayne before helping River to her feet. "That's a good idea. Let's go mei mei." He began to lead her in the direction of the passenger quarters. River stopped and turned back to Jayne and Mal.  
  
"Sorry," she told them quietly. Mal didn't ask her who she was talking to, she probably meant both of them anyways. Once they'd gone, Mal turned to Jayne, unsure of what to say.  
  
"Goin' back," Jayne told Mal quietly and walked over to the panel, hitting the button for the doors to open.  
  
"I think you've had enough t' drink tonight," Mal followed him over. "Let's just go on up an' get some sleep—"  
  
"Stayin' at my Ma's place," Jayne reminded him. When Mal didn't reply Jayne let his eyes flick up to land on Kaylee She was still sitting on the stairs with tears streaming down her cheeks, for her friends' pain. Jayne couldn't muster up a grin for her though, so he walked quickly out of the doors, his boots making rhythmic clanking sounds on the planks, his stride surprisingly forceful and confident now. He'd sobered up.  
  
"Jayne," Mal called after him with the intention of telling him to just spend the night in his bunk. Jayne didn't stop, nor did he look back. "Jayne!" he called again. Once the mercenary's large frame had been swallowed up by the dark of the night, Mal sighed and closed the doors. He climbed the stairs and paused at the top, setting a hand down on Kaylee's shoulder. "Go to bed Kaylee," he squeezed slightly before making his way to the crew quarters.  
  
Kaylee nodded slowly, climbing to her feet and brushing a stray tear away. She shot one last look back to the doors, and then followed Mal.

* * *

It rained at the funeral, tumulus buckets pouring down to wash away the old and leave clean and new. The crew of Serenity joined the dozens of people from town, all looking on as a local preacher stood beside Matty's body, reading to them from his black book.  
  
River listened to the preacher, through the sounds of raining water and the sobs coming from Samantha Cobb. She heard the words but they still didn't make sense to her. Understood but not comprehended. Simon and Wash had pushed their attitudes aside now, praying silently while the preacher led them in the Lord's Prayer.  
  
River let her mouth form the words, following Simon's lead and bowing her head. Her eyes rose though, taking note of the way Kaylee clutched Simon's hand in hers, and the way her pale cheeks were wet, but not from the rain. Mal didn't bow his head, but he continued to stare impassively at Matty's body. She could hear snippets of thought from the Captain, words like kingdom and trespasses echoing through her mind; Mal knew the words, had once believed them, but could no longer bring himself to utter them. A part of her cried for him, because he still wanted to believe.  
  
The rest of her cried for Jayne, who stood taller than anyone else, near the front with his mother. Sammy clung tightly to his arm, her last son, and Jayne watched the preacher blankly, his face emotionless. River couldn't feel anything coming from him. No emotion; no anger and no pain. He was as empty as the look in his eyes and grim line that his lips made.  
  
The others held umbrellas, black ones, to keep themselves from the rain. Jayne stood under the water, unprotected when the downpour increased and his clothes stuck to his frame. She eyed the broad expanse of his shoulders, the way the fabric clung to the muscles and bone; it must have been terribly cold, but he didn't shiver.  
  
The mourners began to sing, the same song that River remembered from Nandi's funeral. Kaylee, Simon, Wash, and Book and Inara all sang along. Zoe and Mal didn't, they were remembering the countless funerals they'd been to, each one still fresh in their minds, and the countless others that they'd seen buried.  
  
Sammy cried and Jayne blinked away the raindrops, and River slipped out of the cover of Inara's umbrella, slowly making her way towards the coffin. Like Jayne, she ignored the rain that quickly soaked her long hair and plastered the clothes to her body, like a second skin. Simon whispered her name sharply, hoping to draw her back, but she ignored him and reached the front of the crowd.  
  
Jayne's eyes flicked over to her, expression wary, expecting her to make a scene. River walked straight up to the body – Matty-- and held out her hand, showing everyone the white flower that she held. She bent over, setting the flower on top of the smooth white top of the coffin.  
  
_ "...bright shining as the sun..."  
_  
She backed away and this time stood beside Jayne, letting the rain continue to fall on her. His mouth twitched slightly in the corners, for a brief second, and then the blank stare returned. River finished singing with the others.  
  
_ "...I was blind, but now I see."  
_  
End.  
  
TBC... 


End file.
